Thursday, 8 September 2011

The 90/10 principle

We, usually have no control over some of the things that happen to us. We wake up in the morning and as we drive out the gate, an okada rider just scratches the car. We couldnt have controlled that. Or a policeman stops you early in the morning and delays you with all their silly requests. No control over that. Or your boss decides to make you miserable in the office for one unknown reason or the other. We cant control that. Or our child breaks that really expensive and beautiful china-ware we searve guest with. We couldnt have had control over that.


Our reaction is what will determine if we expose ourselves to high BP or if we take the high road.

I have been faced with so many suituations which i know i should have reacted diferently and saved myself the stress i went through. But i guess, like humans, we sometimes cant help ourselves. I would have finished cursing and shouting before i hear that tiny voice saying 'calm down,that isnt the way to go' sometimes, the damage to both me and the other person would have been done.

Here is a little example for us to always refer to as a guide to determining our reactions to incidents.

You are having tea in the morning with your family, your daughter accidentaly knocks down a cup of coffee on your white shirt. You had no control over that. You jump up cursing and scolding your daughter. Your husband asks you to take it easy and u turn and face him yelling and calling him names in ur anger.

You both have a little 'mouth fight' with your daughter crying in the background. you storm into the room to change your shirt. your daughter is still crying and so misses her bus. u have to drop her off at school. This  makes u get to work late and have ur boss shout at you in front of your sub-ordinates. You are totally pissed and irritable the entire day. You get home to a moody husband (remember u called him names in the morning). Your entire 24 hours in f**ked up cos of ur reaction in the morning.

Now compare:

You are having breakfast with your family and your daughter accidentaly knocks over a conme of coffee on your white shirt. You take a deep breath, tell her to be more careful, She apologizes. You stand up and go and change the shirt. You come out in time to see ur daughter getting onto the school bus. You pick up ur car keys, kiss ur husband goodbye and drive to work to get in before your boss. You day continues as usual and u get back home in the evening to a happy family.

See the difference???

I hope i take my own advise cos i really need to change my reactions to a lot of occurances i have no control over

Lovely day to you guys!

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