Friday, 29 June 2012

Pastor runs mad while praying for mad man



The story below was carried by one of our national dailies (The Tribune). Its so stunning, almost unbelievable. But as na newspaper report am, e suppose be true abi?


PEOPLE living at Oke-Ado area of Ibadan, Oyo State, as well as shopowners and automobile dealers along Molete road in the town, onThursday, watched a drama involving a pastor and a mad man.
The pastor, whose name is Timothy, according to an eyewitness, got toOsosami junctions of Oke-Ado around 5.20 p.m and went to meet thementally-deranged man, popularly known as Tunde, who was sitting infront of a building in the area.
According to Semiu, a shop owner around the spot of the incident, thepastor began to read the Bible on sighting the mad man, while he movedcloser to him and laid the hand on his head.
"At a point, there was a hot argument between the duo, which made thepastor to raise his voice as he was offering a deliverance prayer forTunde, the mad man. The hot prayer lasted for over 15 minutes beforeanother strange drama began," Semiu told the Nigerian Tribune.
Speaking further, another witness, an okada rider, said at a point, themad man removed the pastor's hand from his head, adding that "suddenly,a strange spirit got hold of the pastor and he began to remove hiscloth. He was naked and laid flat on the ground, speaking a strangelanguage, with foam oozing out of his mouth."
The mad man, it was gathered, initially left him in this position andsat at some distance away from the pastor, before the duo later satcloser to each other, while onlookers watched the strange drama.
The pastor remained in state of insanity until the Nigerian Tribune leftthe scene of the incident.


 Wonders shall never cease. What was a mad man and a pastor arguing about, biko nu? Could the mad man have shared the spirit inside of him with the pastor?
Na real wa!

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Shoes, shoes, shoes and more shoes!


I love shoes! Oh my Lord, how i love them!
I would have a hundred and one pairs if i could afford it. I don't care much for bags and belts but shoes??? I could take a fabulous one off someone's feet and hide it in my closet just with my eyes!
And cos of my tremendous love for this accessory, i kind of notice it a lot on other people. The 3rd place i look at a lady (after her face and her hair) is her shoes (unconsciously most times)

"What do women want? Shoes" - Mimi pond (Writer and designer)
“Women need food, water, and compliments. That's right. And an occasional pair of shoes.” ― Chris Rock (Actor and comedian)

These quotes goes to tell me that am not alone in the near obsession with shoes.

But do we have to wear shoes just cos they are fine at the expense of our comfort???
Oh no! For me that is. No matter how lovely and gorgeous a pair of shoes are, once i slip my feet in it and feel any iota of discomfort, that is it! Am out! I'd rather go home, suck my thumb and sulk for missing such fabulous shoes than buy them and just look at them in my closet everyday not able to wear them.
I have bought shoes in the morning (apparently that's not so a good a time to buy shoes as your feet are still slightly shrunken and will deceive you) and then when i wear these shoes to work, i find that as the hours go by, my feet gets more and more uncomfortable. Sitting for long kind of makes the feet swell a bit and there goes your pleasure of wearing a fabulous pair of shoes. I have learnt the right time to buy shoes is in the evening or late afternoon.
Truth is, once you are uncomfortable in your shoes, people notice.
I saw a girl at an office i went to yesterday and she had on such lovely peep-toe shoes. We both had to wait at the reception till the person we wanted to see comes to get us. She stood up to go meet the person she was there to see and i immediately saw it. She was struggling to walk! Like really really struggling. She was walking like her knee cap was stiff and wouldn't bend. Seems like she was sweating on her feet cos her toes were slipping out the front of her peep-toe shoes and there was some space at the back so she had to drag the shoe along. My 1st impulse was to rush out and buy her slippers. But then i remembered seeing this quote by Clinton Kelly (TV Personality) "Sometimes comfort doesn't matter. When a shoe is freakin' fabulous, it may be worth a subsequent day of misery. Soak in Epsom salts and take comfort in the fact that you're better than everyone else.” 


Oh well, maybe she is in that school of thought but her apparent discomfort just took away all the other stuff she did great at - the hair, the make up, the clothes. All i (and probably all those around us) fixed on was how she could barely walk.


Our beauty is much more than what we wear. How we wear what we wear goes a long way in making us beautiful and standing us out. Shoes are awesome (like beyond awesome) but carriage  and confidence is everything. Bad shoes will make you lose both.


Long time no see my dear people. Hope you all are doing great.


You take good care of you and yours, ok?


Ciao! 

Thursday, 31 May 2012

Smoking like a chimney!



Tobacco manufacturers.
Back in the day, they used to advertise heavy on all mediums (TV,Radio, Print, Billboards) with the tiny inscriptions somewhere that says "Tobacco smoking is dangerous to your health". The inscription later changed to "Smokers are liable to die young". Then a body (either NCC or so) stopped them from advertising on traditional medium and they moved their advertizing to relaxation spots and clubs.
I used to remember how sexy and 'tush' the ads used to be.
I still remember "Ocean Drive" by Lighthouse Family when st. Mortitz used the song as theme for their ad.
Smoking was represented as being sexy and the 'in' thing. It was represented as being cool. Trust teens na, dem wan do anything wey dey cool.
Lots of teens start smoking to show they have arrived, that they now belong.
I remember i used to wish i could smoke too. Was too scared to try. Almost tried once but as i put the stick of cigarette to my lips, it was like i could see my dad frowning his face and holding a whip! Omo, i just comot the thing. Never had to guts to try again.
I had a friend in the Uni that always had a 'concrete' reason to smoke. When the weather is cold, he would smoke to warm himself up. When the weather is hot, he would smoke to cool himself down (can u imagine?)

I grew up thinking the act of smoking was a guy thing ONLY. Oh, how wrong i was!
The saying 'what a man can do.....................' rings true in this department as well. Women are not 'dulling'. They are matching their male counterparts in the 'bassing' circle. Chei, the rate some women smoke eh, u can pratically see their lungs shrivel!

Today is 'World No Tobacco Day' (We have a day for everything dont we?)

So if you are out there and still doing 10 sticks or more a day. Try and see if you can cut it to 5 stick a day and so on.
I know say na 1 thing go kill person but try not to use your hand bring that '1 thing' upon urself.

Even the people wey manufacture the thing don tell you say 'it is dangerous for your health'. So be wise!

Take care!
Ciao!

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Superstitions - which do u have? which do u still believe?


I spent the early part of my teenage years in the east. Whenever i go to the village back then, there were some things that were a no-no for the children there. I had to learn these things fast as ignorance was no excuse. Children used to take these things really seriously and some adults too.
These were beliefs that had been imbibed, knowingly or unknowingly into the hearts of the people and the young generation were growing with these beliefs.
Superstition is basically having a belief that an activity will have a negative or positive effect on one's life

I remember some of them.

  1. Noone should cross over the outstretched legs of a child sitting on the floor else the child wouldnt grow taller than he/she already was. If you mistakenly crossed over, you had to cross back to neautralize the 'shortening' jazz *wonder*
  2. No pounding (in the mortar) or sweeping at night else you would be calling on the spirits
  3. Putting a finger in the inside of your cheeks and removing it forcibly to produce a 'pop' sound was prohibited at night as it called on snakes *how on earth!*
  4. Beating a child with a broom was going to make the child short
  5. Hitting your left foot against a stone signified something bad about to happen
  6. Having a black cat pass the front of your house spelt doom
  7. Having an owl cry close to your house at night signified someone was about to die
  8. Having the inside of your palm scratch you  meant someone was going to dash you money
  9. Having your eyelids quiver meant you would see someone you hadnt seen in a long time
  10. Sneezing 3 times consecutively meant someone was calling your name some where. (even if na catarrh dey worry you!)
These are the ones i can remember for now.
Looking back now, i take it that some of these things were tricks the older people used to keep the younger ones in check. I dont know what they had in mind for number 1 above but number 2 was probably to make us pound the stuff for food early enough before night so that cooking will be faster. Also sweeping where we were supposed to sweep before nightfall (Which were regular chores we had to do back then). Number 3 was probably to stop us from making that irritating popping sounds in the evening when the elders were resting from the day's work. Number 4 was probably to prevent us from ruining another's skin with the welts that brooms can leave.
This is cos i dont want to actually believe that the adults believed these things themselves!
As for the rest of them, i have no idea where those came from!

Looking back now, i can only laugh at some of the things i actually believed could happen.

Share with us some of the superstitions you also know about - those you have out grown and those you still kind of believe in.

Catch ya!




*****Image source - google.com*****

Friday, 25 May 2012

Styl-Plus: Wetin dey happen?


Tunde, Zeal, Shifi

They used to be (and sort of still are) my favourite music group in the country.
'Olufunmi' and 'Olufunmi remix' used to make my day, anyday.
Then the silence. Then 'Expressions' album. I rocked that wella back in '06. I really really liked the guys.
I remember when they came for a showw in my school sometime in '04 (unical). My closest friend had a huge crush on Shifi. She pushed her way to the front of the stage and, like a dream, Shifi pulled her up on stage to dance with him!
She almost passed out. She almost didnt want to take a bath the next day, make she no wash Shifi hand comot.
They were so good and so sought after. They seemed to complement and complete each other. Shifi was the rapper, Zeal was the soul singer and Tunde could do about anything.
It was fun.
Then after 'Expressions'....................... Nothing again.
It was rumoured in '08/'09 that they wanted to break up. The rushed into the studio and came up with 'Back & Better' album where '4 years don waka' was the only song that really made an impact in the entire album. After that.......................nothing again.
I have been wondering what's been happening with them.
Then i saw this. Culled from The Punch newspapers

Any moment from now, the trio that makes up hitherto beloved R n B
group, Styl Plus, Shifi Omoefe, Zeal Onyecheme and Tunde Akinsanmi, will
be bidding one another as well as fans a final goodbye. A reliable
source told E-Punch earlier in the week that the stalemated and stunted
career of the Abuja-based group might have necessitated the decision of
the members to try out their luck individually. "Zeal is already talking
to a big Nigerian music star about the possibility of being signed under
his label. He wants out of the group. He is frustrated like the other
members but he is the one who is making the most moves to kick-start a
solo career," the source tells us but refuses to divulge who the music
star is. He would only reveal that Styl Plus was already a national
phenomenon when Zeal's prospective boss had not even had a bearing for
his career.
The slide began with their obstinate refusal to relocate to Lagos, the
nerve-centre of entertainment in Nigeria. This would be compounded by a
lukewarm second album, Back and Better, which saw the ratings of the
group dropping drastically as music fans started finding new music
favourites. There have been several attempts to return to the
front-burner, but fans' apathy and the ever changing dynamics of the
industry have not yielded.

Now, please note the 2 areas i highlighted above.
1st highlight: I was thinking that 2 (or more) good heads was better than 1. If that rings true, why would anyone think that he will do well alone than in a group of talented others? Well, except someone in that group is a 'talent killer' or 'destiny spolier'. Then again, maybe going solo will be the way out.

2nd highlight: Does where a music group lives affect their performance (or non-performance)? I mean, could Styl-Plus's insistence to remain in Abuja have affected their performance in the music industry?
I didnt know that where a star lived had a direct effect on how he/she performed. Maybe that explains why the 'Chocolate City" Boys and P-Square relocated to Lagos from Jos, Timaya from PH (i think. He did right?). Flavour too from Enugu and so many others like that. So maybe where you operate from does matter.

All in all, its just sad to think that a group with so much talent like that, might soon be 'all man for himself'.
So much for "4 years don waka, we still dey carry go, nobody waka nobody go solo. Baba God ooo, our case oo, na ur grace, adu pe oooo."
And to think of it, Zeal's part of that song actually went 'people say na me go 1st go solo and i wonder how they can see tomorrow oo. where will i be without Shifi and Tunde, ohh baby i go wound oooo' - Some prophesy that was!

Wednesday, 23 May 2012

Tag! You're it!!!

Pix Source - Oddnaijachick


I have been tagged by 2 really wonderful citizens of blogsville - The Relentless Builder and Odd Naija Chic.
Amazing people! Thanks, dearies, for the honor. Yes ooo, it is an honor. As i no get GCFR or OON after my name, i can put ToB (Tagged on Blogsville). So henceforth, i will be known and addressed as Amaka Obi ToB, Bsc, MBA, ETC, LOL (All na title ooo) All former documents remain valid *straight face*

So back to the tagging game, there are rules and these are the rules -

1.  Post rules (Done that)
2.  Post 11 random things about yourself
3.  Answer questions posted by the person who tagged you
4.  Create 11 questions and tag 11 people to answer your questions
5.  Notify those tagged of the game
6.  Notify the person who tagged you after you have answered the questions
7.  No tag backs

I am done with no. 1 so over to number 2
11 random things about maself!
  1. I love fufu (covers face in shame) Correct igbo made, well punded, whity white fufu. Especially with Bitterleaf soup or 'Oha' soup.
  2. I have had a crush on Tuface since his grace to grass album and i still do!
  3. I really dont care about 6 packs on a guy. Doesnt trip me at all. Not like i like pot bellies though *arghhh*
  4.  I always wonder what it will be like to rule this country *see my head*
  5. I have a weakness for assisting pregnant women. I just dont like seeing them having to do anything i can help with. It enough having to carry a growing human being inside of u!
  6. I cry when i watch romantic movies. I love romance!
  7. I dont like it when a guy says to me 'Arent you a big girl?'. Its just irritating. Am a big girl so what?? especially when he asks that to get something from u
  8. I hate owing anybody money. makes me feel like a slave and my heart just skips whenever i see the person. Therefore, i dont borrow
  9. I wish i can meet Isha Sesay (CNN reporter and Anchor) Just love the babe!
  10. I cant look down from a high rise building. Heights??? Not my thang!
  11. I love gisting!
Phew! No. 2 - Check.
No. 3. I was tagged by 2 people so here are their questions and my answers

The Relentless Builder's questions
  1. Would you describe yourself as fashion-conscious? - Nope. I dont follow fashion. I create my own! Love to look good though
  2. Name one song you can never forget and why - Yori Yori By Bracket (Am bush i know) Why - Cos it came out just at the time i met and got married to my hubby and we used to love the song back then
  3. What physical feature would you like to change? - None! Used to be my cheecks cos i thought they were too bigg but now they are just sexy! *tongue out*
  4. Three words that other people use to describe you - I think i have to ask other people. Hold on........................... ok. They say Passionate, Objective and Talkative *blush*
  5. Three words that you use to describe yourself - Fun loving, Caring and Talkative! (Talkative just keeps showing up doesnt it?)
  6. Pen (Biro) or pencil? Which do you prefer, and why? - Pencil. So i can erase my mistakes
  7. Do you have a favorite fragrance (perfume, body spray, etc).  If yes, what is it called? - Anything that smells good jare!
  8. What are your pet peeves (Name three at most) - Biko kwa nu, gini bu peeves (Please what is peeves?) Hang on a bit make i consult oracle. Ok i don see am - tiny annoyances. You for talk am like that na TRB. See as you don bring me out for public now. Anywho, my pet peeve is mainly seeing someone pick their nose in public!!! Eeks the living daylights outta me. The others, i handle like most people (sorry i couldnt name 3)
  9. Do you like children? Why or why not? - I love children, so adorable and interesting
  10. What's the name of the last book you read? - Advertising media planning (As 'efiko' wey i be na *wink*)
  11. What's the name of your favorite author? - Sidney Sheldon
Odd Naija Chick's questions

1. If you had to name the one thing that frightens you most about growing old, what would it be? - Cant think of any now. I hope to age gracefully
2. 500 years from now, only one book which exists today will still be available. Which book should it be?Bible!
3. Name something you do when you are alone that you wouldn't do in front of others. - I dont do it in front of others cos i dont want them to know about it. I no fit talk am ooo. *wink*
4. What is the most annoying thing that someone could do to you? - Talk down at me!
5. If you had only 24 hours to live, what would you do? - Go to a radio station, buy airtime and just let a lot of things i have in me out on air!
6. If you could have one super power, what would you want and why? - The power to slap people on the head in the bedroom (without being seen) when they do wrong.
7. If a movie were made about your life, what would the theme song be? - Strenght of a woman by Shaggy and someone else *scratching head*
8. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? - Cant remember. I remember i was angry but cant remember exactly why. Guess i was too angry that i actually forgot why i was angry in the 1st place (dont look at me weird like that. It could happen, u know)
9. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up and why would it be hard to lose? - Cant give up my family
10. What do you do when you are bored? - Sleep, Day dream
11. What is the best compliment you have ever received? - You look smashing and mean the world to me - Hubby


 No. 3 - Check
No 4 - My 11 Questions
  1. All conditions being equal, what career would u choose?
  2. What is your most annoying habit?
  3. Which celebrity do you sometimes wish you were best friends with?
  4. What little things could make your day?
  5. What is your favourite color? Why?
  6. Describe your dream partner
  7. If you were president of Nigeria, how would u handle this Boko Haram issue?
  8. What do u think of Aki and Pawpaw (the actors)?
  9. What was ur most cherished birthday present ever? and ur worst?
  10. Describe the moment that makes you smile everytime you remember it.
  11. What kind of person do you think the person behind Amaka's notepad is?
My 11 Tagees
  1.  Luciano
  2. Priscy
  3. Okeoghene
  4. Che
  5. Myne 
  6. Chantel 
  7. Lady Ngo
  8. Doll
  9. Eyes of Truth
  10. Naijamum In London
  11. Kiky
Off to do No. 5 and 6. Didnt do No. 7
So there you have it.
Phew! That was some exercise.
Ciao!

Friday, 18 May 2012

How to stop the spread of HIV - Words of a "wise" man

MDC-T Senator for Chikomo, Morgan Femai
Zimbabwe- Women should always have bald heads, lose weight and dress shabbily to reduce their attractiveness as part of measures to curb the spread of HIV, Senator for Chikomo, Morgan Femai said yesterday.
MDC-T Senator for Chikomo, Morgan Femai
Addressing Zimbabwe Parliamentarians on an HIV sensitisation workshop here yesterday, Sen Femai proposed that women should also be circumcised. He said HIV is spreading at an alarming rate because men find it difficult to resist women because they are becoming more attractive.
“What I propose is that Government should come up with a law that compels women to have their heads clean-shaven like what the Apostolic sects do. We have never heard that those people (Apostolic sects) are promiscuous so the women should have their heads shaved. They should also not bath because that is what has caused all these problems (spread of HIV),” Sen Femai said.
 (http://nehandaradio.com)

oooook! Senator has spoken. Women, ngwanu, no more 'baffing' for us. no more makeup, no more great looking cloths. We have to stop the scourge of the deadly virus, we have to create an HIV free generation - and it begins with us. I havnet had my bath today and dont plan to till d end of the week. (oh its weekend already hehehehehe)

I know just sabi wetin to tell this guy honestly. HIV is spreading ,so na woman go bear the brunt.
Nekwa isi ya! Mschewwwwwww.

Friday, 4 May 2012

Pressure to get married



As i sat in the chair in her salon and she combed out my hair, she kept on hissing and hissing.
I couldnt help but ask what the issue was.
Her mum was around, came for treatment in Lagos. As she was running around looking for money to take her mum to hospitals and buy her drugs and generally make her comfortable, she also had to contend with the constant questioning coming from the ill lady. The questions have gotten on her last nerve!
The question? "When do you say you are getting married sef? Are you saying you havnt seen any man to marry in this Lagos? Are you looking for a governor to marry you or what? When will i carry my grandchildren from u?.........................................

She hissed again. Funny thing is, she is the 6th of 8 children and her 3 elder sisters are married. Why then is her mum tormenting her to get married when it isnt like she will be the 1st married woman in the family? She is 29yrs (Is that too old?), struggling to make something of her life - after going through so much hard life early in life.

The height was her mum asking every single guy she (d hair dresser) says 'HI' to "are you the one my daughter will marry'?

The girl had had enough. She couldnt wait for the woman to get better and be on her way.

Needless to say that, that day, she did to my hair what she would have loved to do to her mum - squeeze the life out of it!

Now i ask, "why is it such a BIG DEAL for a woman to get married once she crosses 24yrs in these parts"?
I mean, i know all about the biological clocks and stuff but when a woman isnt married yet, is it ok to keep tormenting her about it?
If she had seen someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with (and who has asked her to, nicely ooo), wouldnt she have built her life with him? Why make it look like getting married is something one can just walk into a supermarket and order?

Let me know your thoughts cos this girl is really pissed with her mum and i have tried all the 'dont be angry, she means well' lines but it aint 'werking' for her.
What do you say to her?

Take care dearies. Wish ya all a pleasant weekend!

Ciao!


BTW if you are female, live in Lagos - Nigeria and would like to be part of a radio program that focuses on married women - their pains and gains - (either as a guest speaker or as an interviewee) holla me at amakaokaforobi@yahoo.com. We will take it from there.





****image - google.com****

Friday, 27 April 2012

Blackberry Breakup (bb don land person for trouble oo)


A good friend of mine is about to break up with his girlfriend.
Not news right? Break ups happen everyday. Yeah. True but this circumstance is quite funny or quite silly - depending on where you are standing.

My friend has been going out with this girl for like a year now. Its been great till she made him buy her a bb bold 2 as christmas present. The nightmare started. The discussions between them started becoming thinner and thinner with the girl even pinging him when they are together in the house! She loves that bb like a baby and guards it as such. Lately, she has started living a bit larger than what my friend is used to (he has been the one having to give her money and buy her stuff cos she works in a place where she gets paid very little) She doesnt ask him for money as she used to anymore but still maintains (even superceeds) the standard where my friend has placed her.
When asked where she gets the money she automatically goes defensive - are u suspecting me of cheating on u or what? My friend wants out but is looking for a concrete reason.
She gave it to him 2 weeks ago.
My friend recieved a ping from her late one night and the ping read something like "yes oo, me too. really enjoyed it. Didnt know i could come (orgasm) in the 1st round of making love. It used to take me so long to, or not at all sef *insert blush look* Thanks to you, i can now experience what i have been missing"
(would have inserted the chat here but my friend deleted it after he showed it to me cos he said he doesnt want to see it again)
My guy almost passed out.
He buzzed her with "??????". No response from her. The next morning, very early, she came to his house to say that she woke up this morning to realize that her sister was using her fone to ping her boyfriend and that at a point she (the sister) mistakenly sent one of the chats to him (my friend)
My friend is having none of it. He doesnt believe her story and has told her so. He says it is over between them but she is having none of it. She has told everyone she can possibly tell - my friend's mum, his friends, his elder sister. She says its a huge misunderstanding.
Thing is my friend KNOWS it was she that typed that to send to someone and it was she who mistakenly sent it to him. For him, im no dey do again.

This na correct PP! (Pinging palava)



*****Image source - google.com*****

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Confessions - Purges the heart of cobwebs

Twenty-five years ago 53-year-old Clifford W. Eagle helped commit murder. He kept it a secret until last week.
Eagle, homeless and living in Montana, walked up to a police officer in Billings, Montana, on April 18, and confessed his involvement in the murder of Leo Boyd Reasoner, a commissioner in Haskell County, Oklahoma, at the time. Reasoner was found in his pickup truck with a bullet wound to his temple on June 25, 1987.

As in, this man carried this secret around with him for 25 full years and then suddenly, one day, he decided it was enough. That he needed to purge his heart and soul. That he needed to set himself free. He stopped and let it all out. Even though he knew quite well what this kind of confession might do to him.

So many times, at so many points in our lives, we feel like saying something about something. We feel like letting out. But then, we stop ourselves. Probably cos we think of the consequences our honorable action will bring. How it will hurt someone most especially those we love dearly. We keep quiet.

We may never know why this man chose to bring up this issue that was seemingly dead, after all this while but one thing we know is that he has and he may now feel better. Some of the suicides we hear of may have stemmed from something like this - not being able to carry any longer a weight on the mind.

My thoughts: If you feel you cannot carry that weight anylonger, let it out! Better to deal with the consequences than to be blamed for enternity by ur family for taking your life.

(On the other hand, imagine this guy carried out this confession to a Nigerian policeman. JUST IMAGINE) 

Monday, 23 April 2012

Stage names - How do people get them sef?

Hiiiiiiiii Everyone!!! Wow! It been ages! Did you miss me? *looking round* yes? yes? no? (just tell me you did even if you didnt. plsssss. *wink*)

Lots of things have been going on around me. But that is story for another day.



What i want to talk about today is stage names. I was going thru LIB and saw some aspiring artistes scheduled to compete in one concert to be held soon. The names of these artistes kind of made me laff - and think.
Names like Eclipse, Dizzy, Rage, Emperor Trench. I now sat back to remember other well known artistes that have odd names as well - Tuface (love him so much by the way), Timaya, Faze, ill-bliss, jesse jagz etc. Lets not even talk about the foreign artistes sef!  My question now is - HOW DO PEOPLE PICK OUT THEIR STAGE NAMES??? Especially when the stage names have absolutely nothing to do with their real names. Do they just look round and the 1st thing that pops into their heads become their names?

I think and think and think and i cant figure out what my stage name would be if i someday become an artiste.
Can you help me out? Cos you never know, i just might discover that my talent is in the creative arts. Anyone that gives me a great stage name will share in my 1st million and recording contract *wink*

Also, what would be your own stage name if you were to choose?

Do have a lovely work week guy.

Ciao!

Monday, 19 March 2012

Who exactly is the 'Maga'?

*singing* "Maga don pay shout halleluyah, oooooo. Mugu don pay shout halleluyah."
When Kelly Handosme dropped that 'hit track' we all shook our booty to the beats. That was until some people started raising the question 'should anyone be happy and dance to making a 419 score?' Kelly Handsome immediately replied that he didnt mean the 'maga' in the 419 way. That he meant......... (cant even remember what silly explanation he gave at the time)
We all hear of 'mugus' that fall allowing 'guy man' to chop. These 'mugus' are actually people, humans like us, with blood running through their veins.
The video below made me cry.



In as much as we ridicle victims of internet scammers, calling them gullible, we should just take out time and try to understand what makes them give in to these scams and scammers.

These people have probably, been hurting, have been seeking love and comfort and a sense of belonging. They find 'answers' to their prayers online in the guise of a lovely looking guy/lady. They are happy - these scammers make them happy. Then they are put in the position where they think that they have a chance of making their 'dream man/woman' happy also - by giving them money (sometimes, their entire life savings + the one they borrow!)

They part with the money and that is it! Love + dream man/woman + money disappears, poof, into thin air.

These people are left broken physically, mentally psychologically etc. Some might even kill themselves.

Now, the scammers may think "No harm. i am not forcing them to give me anything. they gave me of their own free will. i am not a thief".
Bull Shit!!!
You are as much a thief as any daylight robber out there! You pretended to be someone you are not, and under these pretences you acquired from someone with no intentions whatsoever of keeping your end of the bargain. That is ROBBERY - short and simple. No difference from what our politicians do to us.

And look at the guy in the centre of all this - the Bidemi guy. Just a regular looking guy. But has probably used his ill-gotten, blood money to erect one outstanding structure in Lekki phase with girls falling over themselves for him. He had 81 other australian women in his contact list! People no just get fear of God honestly.


The last part of that video brought the most tears to my eyes.
Guy: ".......If you dont see the warts in their eyes, If they are not buying you a drink, Dont talk to them" 
Rosanne: "Noone buys me a drink, thats the whole problem"

Makes me wonder if the westerners actually have a point in not trusting Nigerians. *sigh*

Friday, 16 March 2012

Charly 'Man' Oputa - Mr Controversy

Born in 1951.
Set out to be a priest! (*looking around in utter shock*) But left seminary after a year.
A father of many and grandfather of some.
A controversial controversy.
Gay??? Dont know, cant say, dont ask me *smug face*

I present to you 'Charly Boy (abi man) "controversial" Oputa' AKA Area Fada!!!


This guy is just one truck load of controversy after the other!
From his numerous piercings to his numerous tattos to the numerous rings and jewelleries,to his bikes and biker club friends, to his 'kissing' of Denrele on the front page of entertainment magazines to ....................... (infinity)
I have actually been peeping at this picture above to see if he was actually naked. I have shone a torchlight 'in there' yet i cant seem to make out what i am seeing.

Please help me. Is that a naked pose of a father and grand father???

Monday, 12 March 2012

Chei! Which way Nigeria, which way to go?



I am sure that those born in the 80s remember that song "which way Nigeria, which way to go? I love my fatherland, i want to know...................." by Christy Essein (or so)

It is time again to ask that same question as was asked in that song "WHICH WAY NIGERIA????"

Recent headlines read thus:
"11 killed, several injured in Jos catholic church bomb blast" - Terrorism
"Gun men kill 3 in Kano state" - Terrorism
"Corpers die in road crash" - Poor planning and infrastructures
"Terrorist escapes arrest" - Negligence in high places
"Woman kidnapped....." - Terrorism
.
.
.
.
The list is just endless. When people die senselessly this way, all we hear is "The president sends condolence messages to the families of the deceased blah blah blah". Condolence messages???? What the hell does that mean?
I am so sad. So sad for the thousands of people who have died (who probably shouldnt have) due to the circumstances that could have been avoided. Due to the cluelessness of the people in power. Its so sad.
Are they (government) telling me that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that can be done about this Boko Haram thing? Are they telling me that the roads have been cursed by our fore-fathers and so can never be repaired? Are they telling me that it will kill them to provide us with power and those other basics?

To people in government - Noone is saying 'do not steal'. All we are saying is 'steal well but do what you are supposed to do'. Is that too much to ask??? If you steal us blind but provide us with power, good roads, healthcare we will sing your praise till thy kingdom come. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

I am just so sad, honestly. Why do they have special advisers if noone is advising anyone? Have they TOTALLY sold their consciences to the devil? Dont they feel anymore?
God has done what he should do for us as a people. He has blessed us bountifully - both with natural and with human resources. He gave us free will to use them well. We are mis-using them and calling on Him.

Hmmm, anyway, when all seems to be lost, its just natural to look upwards.

Cant we, as a people, do ANYTHING?

I am tired of sayin "RIP" to people who have died due to these negligences/avoidable circumstances. Now i will say to them "Before you rest in peace, please haunt ALL the people that did not do what they were meant to do which resulted in your death. Haunt them till they run mad!"

Which way Nigeria????

Thursday, 8 March 2012

Possesive and over-possesive partners.


Human beings just love to be loved. We, naturally, crave love and attention especially from people we love too. But sometimes, for some people, this love becomes extremely much!

I had this girl in the university. She just got out of a very abusive relationship before i met her. We used to exchange stories about boys and things. One day, she actually opened up to me, to tell me about her past relationship. Her boyfriend was over possessive. I thought that would show how much he loved her (hadnt really given the real meaning of that word a thought till then). She looked at me like an intelligent show-off student will look at a another student who just failed the recitation of 'Nigerian states and capitals' - with pity at my stupidity.
She started the story
Her boyfriend 'loved' her so much that he vowed NEVER to see her with another man. He strikes her anytime he sees her as much as talking to any male - he cries as he beats her. Asking her why she wants to break his heart! He feels bad at the closeness between her and her siblings - says she should love him more than her siblings as he seeks to make her his wife. The height - Anytime she goes out, to school or something,

*anyone under 18yrs should just stop reading here* hehehehe





he demands that she removes her underwear for him to check for the existence, or otherwise, of semen!!!

He has beat her on so many occasions cos he thought he saw something that looked like semen in her underwear. To say i was shocked beyond belief is just to put it mildly - Flabbergasted, will somehow explain how i felt at hearing this.
I also hear of girls that go through their boyfriend's phones and slam the fone on the wall anytime they see anything that remotely links the bf to another girl. They monitor the guy's movements and sometimes trail him to make sure he is going where he says he is going. They make sure they have all his friends' fone numbers so they can call and find out if he is truely with them when he says he is.

Ol boy! People, sha, sabi worry themselves ooo.

Over possessiveness. Not healthy, Not safe. So if there is anyone out there who is doing something like this - STOP IT! It does not show you love the other person. It simply shows you have a very very low self esteem.

And if you are in a relationship with someone who is possessive - Run, Flee, Take Off - before that person chokes you (literally and figuratively) to death.

Ciao!

Friday, 2 March 2012

Lets talk surgery!


Cosmetic surgery, i mean.
We see and hear about people who have gone under the knife for breast implants, hip enlargement, waist reduction, tummy tuck, face lift, nose jobs etc (ol boy, the things dem plenty ooo)
Now, there are so many people in this parts, who immediately criticize such people whenever they hear such things. I remember in 2005 when the news of the death of the then 1st lady filtered in. People were quite sad at first for her death until it was known that she died as a result of complications arising from a cosmetic surgery gone wrong. 

Come and see the spitting of venom.

A lot of people thought she deserved it "since she didnt want to grow old". That she would have been alive "if she had kept herself the way God made her". Made me wonder.
Now i ask "what exactly is wrong with having a cosmetic surgery"?
I mean what's the difference between having a sugery to make ur waist smaller and wearing a magic suit to do the same thing? Aside from the fact that the former is more expensive and kind of more permanent?
Is it the danger involved in these surgeries that make people castigate the lovers of this trade?
Ladies fix eyelashes, trim eyebrows, wear body magic that leaves no room for breathing yet once we hear someone had her face lifted, we sound the war drums and take the fight to the person's backyard.
I asked my aunty, that period Stella Obasanjo died, a question. I said to her "aunty, if i offer to pay for you to have your tummy fat removed surgically (she was always complianing of her big tummy and her laziness at exercising) will you do it?" She couldnt give me a straight reply.

So does it mean its lack of money that makes us view cosmetic surgery as a sin or is it just bad?



I dont have any intentions whatsoever of having any, by the way.

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Nigeria's dumbest criminal!

I read this stroy and didnt know whether to cry or laugh.
How can someone be so evil and so stupid at the same time???
Please read:


A 30-years-old housewife, Rukayat Alalade, has been arrested by men of the Nigeria Police Force, Oyo State Command, for  macheting her 11 years old stepson to death.
It was gathered that the suspect, whose husband Lukman Alalade, married after he separated from his first wife, had always haboured ill-feelings for her two stepchildren.
According to sources, the dastardly act was committed on Valentine’s Day after the boy, identified as Qudus, returned from an errand on which his stepmother sent him. Angry that the boy was late in coming from where she sent him to buy kerosene, the suspect reportedly descended on him with a macheteShe reportedly cut him on the head and hand until he gave up the ghost.
After accomplishing her mission, Mrs. Alalade dragged the remains of the little boy to the backyard of the family’s building and hid the cutlass under the bed.
Her wicked deed was, however, blown open when the husband came back and could not see his son. Though she initially denied knowledge of the deceased’s whereabouts, a trail of his blood was followed to where his body was eventually discovered at the backyard. It was then that bloodstains were noticed on the woman’s clothwhile the cutlass was found under the bed in the couple’s room.
The suspect has been transferred to the State Criminal Investigation Department (SCID) for further investigations and prosecution.

I dont know which upsets me more - the fact that she was so demonic to another human being (her stepson) or the fact that she was a dumb ass demon.
I mean "drag the body to the backyard and hide the cutlass under the bed"? She should be charged with murder in the 1st degree as well as stupidity in the 1st degree! The 2 charges should get her spending the rest of her life in jail! Oshi!

Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Are you an attention loving person?


I mean, do you love being the center of gravity? Do you love being the focal point, the topic of discussion?
In relationships, do you love your other to just keep talking about you  and to you everytime?
A girl i know gets really pissed with her boyfriend if he doesnt call her at least 4 times a day. says it shows she wasnt on his mind, that he wasnt thinking of her. (She seemed to forget that calling is a 2 way thing).
Anyway, while some people will do everything to get out of the spotlight or be stifled with attention, i know some people just love being attended to - in whatever way conceivable.

Are you one of the former or the latter?

I think i am the latter *embarrased look*

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Why do women cheat?



I came across a really interesting article in a magazine. I thought to share it with you guys here and see if you agree with the writer. I will try to summarize it as much as possible.

"Although woman have not surpassed men in the cheating scale, more married women,now than ever before, are sleeping with other men aside their husbands. Here are the top 10 reasons women cheat....

  1. Not enough sex: Women want to feel wanted. If you dont make her feel that way, she will seek it elsewhere.
  2. Being 'the bad girl': Just as men feel the urge to sow their wild oats some women have an inner kitten waiting to be unleashed.
  3. Self esteem: A woman with low self esteem is more likely to cheat. As she sees advances towards her as a self esteem booster which makes her feel sexier and more beautiful
  4. Revenge/Pay back for past wrongs: The husband probably didnt cheat but has hurt her in one way or the other. She seeks revenge by sleeping with someone else
  5. Lack of intimacy: Its not just having sex. Its those other things that make women feel connected in a realationship-touching,kissing,cuddling and communicating. When this is lacking, she will probably look out.
  6. Feeling neglected/ignored/underappreciated: Women do a lot of things in the home-housekepper, errand runner, babysitter etc. When she begins to feel more like a maid than a wife, thats when she could stray.
  7. Husband's emotional withdrawal: Women are emotional beings. They need even more emotional support than they need physical support. Once the man retrezts from the relationship emotionally, the woman is likely to cheat as she will see it as 'moving on' rather than cheating.
  8. Bedroom boredom: Monotonous sex in the bedroom-same setting, same position, same person (might just = BOREDOM) Cheating could give her an adventure and set the adrenalin pumping
  9. Exit strategy: Instead of breaking up with you, she cheats on you. That way she doesnt have to deal with a broken relationship (Didnt quite get what the writer was trying to say here though)
  10. Revenge for your cheating: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. She might just want to give you a dose of your own medicine if you have cheated on her before.
In my oppinion, the writer duplicated the major reason over and over - The major reason is 'Lack of Effective Communication'. Most of the 10 points can be summed by that one major reason.

What do you think?

Long time no see you guys. No be small thing. Hope say una sha dey well.

Ciao!



Image source - google.com

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Who do you trust?

 
Monday was a public holiday here in naija, and while i was lounging and lazying about at home, my colleague and dear friend was having her heart broken by a family member she trusted and had accomodated for over 5 months.

What happened? My friend (hereafter referred to as 'she') met someone on facebook who claimed he was family. She made consultations and truely the guy was her 2nd cousin. But since she didnt travel home a lot, she didnt really know him or his siblings. The boy said he was in the States and would be coming to Lagos soon. He asked her if she could accomodate him. She obliged and the guy came to her house. A visit she thought would last for a day or 2 turned to weeks into months. She didnt complain cos she had space in her house. As the guy stayed, she began trusting him and letting down her guard. 2 weeks ago, she was a bit down and needed to give someone some money. Here was where she made the mistake - she gave the guy her atm card to go help her withdraw money to give the person. He did that and all went well. Monday morning, she woke up to find the guy's stuffs gone and some few minutes later, debit alerts from her accounts started flying into her fone! Before she could say 'jack robinson' 120k don develope wings fly comot from her account!!!

Classic case of "biting the finger that fed you"

A text also came in from the guy's number saying "I am not a thief, i know what i am doing. I am out for revenge. My father told me all your father did to him, how he killed him and i am here to wreck vengence so my father's soul can rest in peace". Can u imagine?

My friend's father died in 1992 and this guy's father died in 2006. How could a man dat died 14years earlier have possibly done??? Ok, lets assume the 2 fathers actually had something going on, who is this guy to come and exert vengence after being taken good care of for so long? Was that text just an excuse for his robbing behaviour?

So many questions, no answers. The guy has switched off his fone (a fone my friend got for him), has de-activated his facebook account and generally gone incommunicado.
Its just so sad lenghts some people can go to repay kindness. Makes one wonder if helping people is worth the stress.

My philosophy, though, is this - keep doing good. It hurts when you are repayed with evil but God sitting on the throne will make you smile at the end.

How are you guys doing?
Ciao!

Tuesday, 31 January 2012

What will you be when u grow up?

I couldnt resist putting up this picture. Cracked me up big time.
Remember when, in primary school, teachers used to ask you this question. "what will you like to be when u grow up?" There were different answers, the most popular of which used to be - Doctors, lawyers and engineers. There were, in addition, those that wanted to be astronauts, air hostesses, pilots, bankers, teachers (we used to laff at these set of people), nurses etc. I remember we used to have a calendar in our primary 3 (or 4) classroom that showed the different professions in their uniforms.
Some daring kids will say musician or footballer. These set of kids get serious 'talking to' by their parents who tell them that there isnt any future in that path! (That is story for another day. Do u see how much money the people in that industry make now?)

For me, it used to be a doctor. Then i changed my mind (cos i couldnt stand the sight of someone in pain) to a pilot (cos i loved the thot of flying from one place to the other) After one plane crash that happened sometime in the early 90's, i changed again to a petrochemical engineer(cos i loved the thought of working in an oil company and getting paid the FAT salaries we hear happens in that sector)

The point of this post is 20 something years down the line, what are we? In most cases, nowhere near where we thot we'd be.
1st, JAMB messes up ur ambitions. You change courses and re-write JAMB 2 or 3 times before you are finally given admission to study your 2nd choice. You go in with the intention that u will change course while in there. It may not happen and you are stuck with the course you dont really really want to study.
2nd, you graduate with good grades and get into the labour market. That is one market you dont know what you are going to end up buying even though you have the resources (your good grades and your positive attitude). You end up working in a small consulting firm or a bank and you say 'its just for a while. i will still study medicine or pharmacy or law'. Responsibilities come and all the thought of studying anything else flies through the window.

We now have advertising practitioners, travel agents, sales reps, call centre executives etc. Professions we never knew existed when we were little.

Its a good thing though, cos if all of us were lawyers, doctors, engineers and pilots, who will be the go-between? Who will keep all our money (bankers and their marketers), who will let us know what products to buy (advertising practitioners), who will help us make arrangements to travel (travel agents) etc.

At the end of the day, you look back and just laugh at the innocence and purity of mind that led you to say 25 years ago "I would love to be a doctor"

Ciao!

Friday, 27 January 2012

Lagos na wa!

Lagos. Mega City. Lagos is working. Eko o ni baje!
Chei! people dey chop other people 'mugu' for this town oo. Abeg make una help me see this 'certificate of f**k up' from Agege local Government Council.


The lady that was served, actually just had her baby's birthday inside her compound - compound that is fenced and has a gate! She didnt put any canopies out on the street, she didnt block the road in any way, she didnt obstruct traffic. She and her husband only called their friends to come and wine and dine with them. Lo and Behold, they committed an offence in the eyes of the LGC. And they have to pay a fine!

This is just the height of lawlessness and failure in society. Merriment section of a local government council!? I never hear that one before o.

Merriment/Entertainment permit ko, shitting in my toilet permit ni. Mschewwwwwww
And they even put time line - 24hr notice. Make them go carry boko haram come. Silly people.

Every 3 years, new LGA chairmen are sworn in. what do they actually do while in office? No one knows. You just get to see one dead borehole repainted and boldly written on - REFURBISHED BY SO AND SO LOCAL GOVERNMENT AREA CHAIRMAN. And that is it! nothing from them again till the next election.
Wetin i dey do for office sef? Na to join politics follow my mates hammer, na im be the way forward ooo. Any connections?

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Stealing in marriage



Are there married ladies in the house? Have you ladies visited this website before www.wivesroundtable.net ? You should go there! There are lots of real life experiences shared by real life women who need real life suggestions and encouragements. There are sometimes very humorous stories there like this one. 

Its about a woman who stole from her husband (is that even rational) and was 'exposed' by the husband in public!!! I mean doesnt the phrase "two shall become one" in marriage apply even in finances? If the woman needs something, cant she ask her husband for money rather than take it without asking (which in the dictionary means stealing) Or could it be that she has, out of experience, known that the man wouldnt give her the money if she asks so she resorts to taking without asking?

If a man calls his wife a 'cheap thief' on the road, isnt that an indictment on his ability of being a good husband? What does he expect the area boys in his area to call his wife if he had run her down like that already?

The whole thing is confusing abeg. The woman and the man are ONE so the woman was (probably) technically not stealing (since dem be 'one' na). The man also, technically, should not feel like a victim since its part of him (as per the 'one' thing) that took his money

Abi wetin una think????

Friday, 20 January 2012

Proverbs from Igbo land



I am an igbo girl ( or 'ibo' like most people spell and pronounce it)
I am a confident, to-the-core, well rounded, proud and confirmed igbo girl.
I speak and write the langauge fluently. I love igbo names, i love igbo food, i love the intelligence and industriousness of the igbo people, i love the rich culture, i love the festivals. I love the sound of the flute

 






and the sound of the 'ekwe' .


Mehn, i love being igbo.
Though these days, you rarely see an igbo person (or any other ethnic person for that matter) speak the language for 60secs straight without adding english here and there.
It pains me when i see people from different parts of the country who dont know how to speak their languages talk more of know their culture. They only know  the name of their state, struggle to pronounce the name of their local government councils and practically chew their tongues when they try to pronounce the name of their villages! They see not being able to speak their language as being 'tush' and being 'trendy'. 'Afterall, those that speak the language are village people' (thats how some even think)
Please note: You can be tush, trendy, 'jebby' and still be a proud part of your ethnicity by knowing your language.

For you to hit your chest and say you can actually speak your language, you have to know how to say and translate the proverbs that you have in your langauge.
In igbo land, they say "Proverbs is the oil with which the igbo man eats words". 

There are lots of proverbs in my language and they can be used to buttress points, explain things and sometimes even - make jokes.
Here are some of them - translated to english - and their meanings:
  • "Will you kill some one you will also have to bury?" - will you hurt someone close to you
  • "An old woman is never too old to dance to the steps she knows how to dance" - No matter how long ago you stopped doing something, as long as you know how to do it well, you can always do it anytime
  • "You can only go round a pepper tree, you cannot climb it" - No matter how much effort you make, there are certain things you just cannot/will not do
  • "Money is in thorns" - There is no easy way to make money
  • "The water in the snail shell (the snail shell was used to give water to dogs in the days of old) is still waiting for the dog" - No matter how much you avoid your problems, they are still there waiting for you (so the earlier you face and thrash  them the better)
  • "Conflict in the land is to the benefit of the chiefs" (cheifs have to keep the peace in the land at some fee) - Even when things are not going well, there are still people that benefit from the situation (Fuel subsidy removal as a case study)
  • "No matter the height of a kid goat, he still has to kneel down to suck the mother goat's breasts" - You are never too big to respect your elders
There are SO MANY more but let us just stop here for now. If you need to hear more, just let me know.

Are you proud of who you are, where you come from? Do you know any proverbs in your language?
Drop it here and let us know that you are a son/daughter of the soil! Say the proverb and tell us what it means.

Ciao!