Friday, 4 May 2012

Pressure to get married

As i sat in the chair in her salon and she combed out my hair, she kept on hissing and hissing.
I couldnt help but ask what the issue was.
Her mum was around, came for treatment in Lagos. As she was running around looking for money to take her mum to hospitals and buy her drugs and generally make her comfortable, she also had to contend with the constant questioning coming from the ill lady. The questions have gotten on her last nerve!
The question? "When do you say you are getting married sef? Are you saying you havnt seen any man to marry in this Lagos? Are you looking for a governor to marry you or what? When will i carry my grandchildren from u?.........................................

She hissed again. Funny thing is, she is the 6th of 8 children and her 3 elder sisters are married. Why then is her mum tormenting her to get married when it isnt like she will be the 1st married woman in the family? She is 29yrs (Is that too old?), struggling to make something of her life - after going through so much hard life early in life.

The height was her mum asking every single guy she (d hair dresser) says 'HI' to "are you the one my daughter will marry'?

The girl had had enough. She couldnt wait for the woman to get better and be on her way.

Needless to say that, that day, she did to my hair what she would have loved to do to her mum - squeeze the life out of it!

Now i ask, "why is it such a BIG DEAL for a woman to get married once she crosses 24yrs in these parts"?
I mean, i know all about the biological clocks and stuff but when a woman isnt married yet, is it ok to keep tormenting her about it?
If she had seen someone she wanted to spend the rest of her life with (and who has asked her to, nicely ooo), wouldnt she have built her life with him? Why make it look like getting married is something one can just walk into a supermarket and order?

Let me know your thoughts cos this girl is really pissed with her mum and i have tried all the 'dont be angry, she means well' lines but it aint 'werking' for her.
What do you say to her?

Take care dearies. Wish ya all a pleasant weekend!


BTW if you are female, live in Lagos - Nigeria and would like to be part of a radio program that focuses on married women - their pains and gains - (either as a guest speaker or as an interviewee) holla me at We will take it from there.

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  1. The pressure to get married is a cultural issue which portrays women as subservient to men. Whilst this may have been ok many years ago but perhaps not so in 2012.

    Unfortunately the issue won't go away until there's a shift in cultural attitudes of women's role in marriage in particular, and society in general.

  2. This mum get time o. She is not well and she is bothering about marriage which is not even in the girls power. Hmm...

  3. @ Myne: That was what I was thinking too.You are sick instead od thinking of how to get better you are stressing yourself about someone's marital status.

  4. without been rude the girl should tell her mother that times have changed they don't sell husband in the market anymore.lmao well thats the answer i give when am been bugged about married.

  5. Amaka: You have been TAGGED! Please check out my blog for more details on the rules and how to participate. All the best!

    1. Relentless, i have been there and i am back - breathless from laughing - if i may add. i will participate in my next post for sure!

      Thanks babe for tagging me. I owe you a plate of pounded yam and egusi soup *winks*.

  6. Poor girl... Let her do what is right for herself. Her mum is from a diferent time and may not understand that the world have moved on. That women can stand on their own, own businesses and property and marry when they find someone they love. And not go looking for a man desperately to do things for them and end up marrying the wrong man...

  7. aww.. its a sad thing to know wat most people in this parts of the world focus on


Words of wisdom!