Thursday, 8 March 2012

Possesive and over-possesive partners.

Human beings just love to be loved. We, naturally, crave love and attention especially from people we love too. But sometimes, for some people, this love becomes extremely much!

I had this girl in the university. She just got out of a very abusive relationship before i met her. We used to exchange stories about boys and things. One day, she actually opened up to me, to tell me about her past relationship. Her boyfriend was over possessive. I thought that would show how much he loved her (hadnt really given the real meaning of that word a thought till then). She looked at me like an intelligent show-off student will look at a another student who just failed the recitation of 'Nigerian states and capitals' - with pity at my stupidity.
She started the story
Her boyfriend 'loved' her so much that he vowed NEVER to see her with another man. He strikes her anytime he sees her as much as talking to any male - he cries as he beats her. Asking her why she wants to break his heart! He feels bad at the closeness between her and her siblings - says she should love him more than her siblings as he seeks to make her his wife. The height - Anytime she goes out, to school or something,

*anyone under 18yrs should just stop reading here* hehehehe

he demands that she removes her underwear for him to check for the existence, or otherwise, of semen!!!

He has beat her on so many occasions cos he thought he saw something that looked like semen in her underwear. To say i was shocked beyond belief is just to put it mildly - Flabbergasted, will somehow explain how i felt at hearing this.
I also hear of girls that go through their boyfriend's phones and slam the fone on the wall anytime they see anything that remotely links the bf to another girl. They monitor the guy's movements and sometimes trail him to make sure he is going where he says he is going. They make sure they have all his friends' fone numbers so they can call and find out if he is truely with them when he says he is.

Ol boy! People, sha, sabi worry themselves ooo.

Over possessiveness. Not healthy, Not safe. So if there is anyone out there who is doing something like this - STOP IT! It does not show you love the other person. It simply shows you have a very very low self esteem.

And if you are in a relationship with someone who is possessive - Run, Flee, Take Off - before that person chokes you (literally and figuratively) to death.



  1. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!! Checking her under wear to look for semen???? Ahhhhh!!! This is the first time I'm hearing this one ooo. Beating her too, c'mon. A lady has to know when too much is too mucchhh (if that makes sense). That is very abusive and demeaning. What kind of love is that? Smothering a girl all in the name of love? If he had killed her in one of his beating episodes..nko? Ahhh If I were in her shoes, the first day THAT happened, I would flee from him and leave skid marks sef. Or better still, mark him too with one weapon, that's if he scarred me from one beating. ''Do me I do you''.

    ''Over-posessive'' is too mild a name for that kind of abuse.

    Ehen, Girls that go through their boyfriends' phones like that are just insecure in the relationship. Gbam!

    1. hahahaha, @ leaving skid marks. I share your sentiments exactly!

  2. This one is not love o, it is an extremely bad case of obsession. The fact that you are in a relationship doesn't mean talking to another of the opposite sex is a sign of infidelity. Going through your partner's phone is not the road to go either. It just means that you are insecure.

  3. You had me where you said that over possessiveness is directly proportional to having a very low self esteem. About that girl's boyfriend, I'm surprised that he let her leave the relationship in one piece. Guys like that will never let the girl leave in peace. Lucky her anyways. About the semen/underwear thing... Eeeew!!!

    Everything in your blog is really up my alley. I really love it. Hope you take out time to check out my blog and don't be stingy with comments *winks*.


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