Are you an attention loving person?

I mean, do you love being the center of gravity? Do you love being the focal point, the topic of discussion?
In relationships, do you love your other to just keep talking about you  and to you everytime?
A girl i know gets really pissed with her boyfriend if he doesnt call her at least 4 times a day. says it shows she wasnt on his mind, that he wasnt thinking of her. (She seemed to forget that calling is a 2 way thing).
Anyway, while some people will do everything to get out of the spotlight or be stifled with attention, i know some people just love being attended to - in whatever way conceivable.

Are you one of the former or the latter?

I think i am the latter *embarrased look*

Why do women cheat?

I came across a really interesting article in a magazine. I thought to share it with you guys here and see if you agree with the writer. I will try to summarize it as much as possible.

"Although woman have not surpassed men in the cheating scale, more married women,now than ever before, are sleeping with other men aside their husbands. Here are the top 10 reasons women cheat....

1. Not enough sex: Women want to feel wanted. If you dont make her feel that way, she will seek it elsewhere.
2. Being 'the bad girl': Just as men feel the urge to sow their wild oats some women have an inner kitten waiting to be unleashed.
3. Self esteem: A woman with low self esteem is more likely to cheat. As she sees advances towards her as a self esteem booster which makes her feel sexier and more beautiful
4. Revenge/Pay back for past wrongs: The husband probably didnt cheat but has hurt her in one way or the other. She seeks revenge by sleeping with someone else
5. Lack of intimacy: Its not just having sex. Its those other things that make women feel connected in a realationship-touching,kissing,cuddling and communicating. When this is lacking, she will probably look out.
6. Feeling neglected/ignored/underappreciated: Women do a lot of things in the home-housekepper, errand runner, babysitter etc. When she begins to feel more like a maid than a wife, thats when she could stray.
7. Husband's emotional withdrawal: Women are emotional beings. They need even more emotional support than they need physical support. Once the man retrezts from the relationship emotionally, the woman is likely to cheat as she will see it as 'moving on' rather than cheating.
8. Bedroom boredom: Monotonous sex in the bedroom-same setting, same position, same person (might just = BOREDOM) Cheating could give her an adventure and set the adrenalin pumping
9. Exit strategy: Instead of breaking up with you, she cheats on you. That way she doesnt have to deal with a broken relationship (Didnt quite get what the writer was trying to say here though)
10. Revenge for your cheating: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. She might just want to give you a dose of your own medicine if you have cheated on her before.

In my oppinion, the writer duplicated the major reason over and over - The major reason is 'Lack of Effective Communication'. Most of the 10 points can be summed by that one major reason.

What do you think?

Long time no see you guys. No be small thing. Hope say una sha dey well.

Ciao!



Image source - google.com

Who do you trust?

 
Monday was a public holiday here in naija, and while i was lounging and lazying about at home, my colleague and dear friend was having her heart broken by a family member she trusted and had accomodated for over 5 months.

What happened? My friend (hereafter referred to as 'she') met someone on facebook who claimed he was family. She made consultations and truely the guy was her 2nd cousin. But since she didnt travel home a lot, she didnt really know him or his siblings. The boy said he was in the States and would be coming to Lagos soon. He asked her if she could accomodate him. She obliged and the guy came to her house. A visit she thought would last for a day or 2 turned to weeks into months. She didnt complain cos she had space in her house. As the guy stayed, she began trusting him and letting down her guard. 2 weeks ago, she was a bit down and needed to give someone some money. Here was where she made the mistake - she gave the guy her atm card to go help her withdraw money to give the person. He did that and all went well. Monday morning, she woke up to find the guy's stuffs gone and some few minutes later, debit alerts from her accounts started flying into her fone! Before she could say 'jack robinson' 120k don develope wings fly comot from her account!!!

Classic case of "biting the finger that fed you"

A text also came in from the guy's number saying "I am not a thief, i know what i am doing. I am out for revenge. My father told me all your father did to him, how he killed him and i am here to wreck vengence so my father's soul can rest in peace". Can u imagine?

My friend's father died in 1992 and this guy's father died in 2006. How could a man dat died 14years earlier have possibly done??? Ok, lets assume the 2 fathers actually had something going on, who is this guy to come and exert vengence after being taken good care of for so long? Was that text just an excuse for his robbing behaviour?

So many questions, no answers. The guy has switched off his fone (a fone my friend got for him), has de-activated his facebook account and generally gone incommunicado.
Its just so sad lenghts some people can go to repay kindness. Makes one wonder if helping people is worth the stress.

My philosophy, though, is this - keep doing good. It hurts when you are repayed with evil but God sitting on the throne will make you smile at the end.

How are you guys doing?
Ciao!

What will you be when u grow up?

I couldnt resist putting up this picture. Cracked me up big time.

Remember when, in primary school, teachers used to ask you this question. "what will you like to be when u grow up?" There were different answers, the most popular of which used to be - Doctors, lawyers and engineers. There were, in addition, those that wanted to be astronauts, air hostesses, pilots, bankers, teachers (we used to laff at these set of people), nurses etc. I remember we used to have a calendar in our primary 3 (or 4) classroom that showed the different professions in their uniforms.
Some daring kids will say musician or footballer. These set of kids get serious 'talking to' by their parents who tell them that there isnt any future in that path! (That is story for another day. Do u see how much money the people in that industry make now?)

For me, it used to be a doctor. Then i changed my mind (cos i couldnt stand the sight of someone in pain) to a pilot (cos i loved the thot of flying from one place to the other) After one plane crash that happened sometime in the early 90's, i changed again to a petrochemical engineer(cos i loved the thought of working in an oil company and getting paid the FAT salaries we hear happens in that sector)

The point of this post is 20 something years down the line, what are we? In most cases, nowhere near where we thot we'd be.
1st, JAMB messes up ur ambitions. You change courses and re-write JAMB 2 or 3 times before you are finally given admission to study your 2nd choice. You go in with the intention that u will change course while in there. It may not happen and you are stuck with the course you dont really really want to study.
2nd, you graduate with good grades and get into the labour market. That is one market you dont know what you are going to end up buying even though you have the resources (your good grades and your positive attitude). You end up working in a small consulting firm or a bank and you say 'its just for a while. i will still study medicine or pharmacy or law'. Responsibilities come and all the thought of studying anything else flies through the window.

We now have advertising practitioners, travel agents, sales reps, call centre executives etc. Professions we never knew existed when we were little.

Its a good thing though, cos if all of us were lawyers, doctors, engineers and pilots, who will be the go-between? Who will keep all our money (bankers and their marketers), who will let us know what products to buy (advertising practitioners), who will help us make arrangements to travel (travel agents) etc.

At the end of the day, you look back and just laugh at the innocence and purity of mind that led you to say 25 years ago "I would love to be a doctor"

Ciao!

Lagos na wa!

Lagos. Mega City. Lagos is working. Eko o ni baje!
Chei! people dey chop other people 'mugu' for this town oo. Abeg make una help me see this 'certificate of f**k up' from Agege local Government Council.

The lady that was served, actually just had her baby's birthday inside her compound - compound that is fenced and has a gate! She didnt put any canopies out on the street, she didnt block the road in any way, she didnt obstruct traffic. She and her husband only called their friends to come and wine and dine with them. Lo and Behold, they committed an offence in the eyes of the LGC. And they have to pay a fine!

This is just the height of lawlessness and failure in society. Merriment section of a local government council!? I never hear that one before o.

Merriment/Entertainment permit ko, shitting in my toilet permit ni. Mschewwwwwww
And they even put time line - 24hr notice. Make them go carry boko haram come. Silly people.

Every 3 years, new LGA chairmen are sworn in. what do they actually do while in office? No one knows. You just get to see one dead borehole repainted and boldly written on - REFURBISHED BY SO AND SO LOCAL GOVERNMENT AREA CHAIRMAN. And that is it! nothing from them again till the next election.
Wetin i dey do for office sef? Na to join politics follow my mates hammer, na im be the way forward ooo. Any connections?

Stealing in marriage

Are there married ladies in the house? Have you ladies visited this website before www.wivesroundtable.net ? You should go there! There are lots of real life experiences shared by real life women who need real life suggestions and encouragements. There are sometimes very humorous stories there like this one. 

Its about a woman who stole from her husband (is that even rational) and was 'exposed' by the husband in public!!! I mean doesnt the phrase "two shall become one" in marriage apply even in finances? If the woman needs something, cant she ask her husband for money rather than take it without asking (which in the dictionary means stealing) Or could it be that she has, out of experience, known that the man wouldnt give her the money if she asks so she resorts to taking without asking?

If a man calls his wife a 'cheap thief' on the road, isnt that an indictment on his ability of being a good husband? What does he expect the area boys in his area to call his wife if he had run her down like that already?

The whole thing is confusing abeg. The woman and the man are ONE so the woman was (probably) technically not stealing (since dem be 'one' na). The man also, technically, should not feel like a victim since its part of him (as per the 'one' thing) that took his money

Abi wetin una think????

Proverbs from Igbo land

I am an igbo girl ( or 'ibo' like most people spell and pronounce it)
I am a confident, to-the-core, well rounded, proud and confirmed igbo girl.
I speak and write the langauge fluently. I love igbo names, i love igbo food, i love the intelligence and industriousness of the igbo people, i love the rich culture, i love the festivals. I love the sound of the flute

 






and the sound of the 'ekwe' .

 

Mehn, i love being igbo.

Though these days, you rarely see an igbo person (or any other ethnic person for that matter) speak the language for 60secs straight without adding english here and there.

It pains me when i see people from different parts of the country who dont know how to speak their languages talk more of know their culture. They only know  the name of their state, struggle to pronounce the name of their local government councils and practically chew their tongues when they try to pronounce the name of their villages! They see not being able to speak their language as being 'tush' and being 'trendy'. 'Afterall, those that speak the language are village people' (thats how some even think)

Please note: You can be tush, trendy, 'jebby' and still be a proud part of your ethnicity by knowing your language.

For you to hit your chest and say you can actually speak your language, you have to know how to say and translate the proverbs that you have in your langauge.

In igbo land, they say "Proverbs is the oil with which the igbo man eats words". 

There are lots of proverbs in my language and they can be used to buttress points, explain things and sometimes even - make jokes.

Here are some of them - translated to english - and their meanings:

• "Will you kill some one you will also have to bury?" - will you hurt someone close to you
• "An old woman is never too old to dance to the steps she knows how to dance" - No matter how long ago you stopped doing something, as long as you know how to do it well, you can always do it anytime
• "You can only go round a pepper tree, you cannot climb it" - No matter how much effort you make, there are certain things you just cannot/will not do
• "Money is in thorns" - There is no easy way to make money
• "The water in the snail shell (the snail shell was used to give water to dogs in the days of old) is still waiting for the dog" - No matter how much you avoid your problems, they are still there waiting for you (so the earlier you face and thrash  them the better)
• "Conflict in the land is to the benefit of the chiefs" (cheifs have to keep the peace in the land at some fee) - Even when things are not going well, there are still people that benefit from the situation (Fuel subsidy removal as a case study)
• "No matter the height of a kid goat, he still has to kneel down to suck the mother goat's breasts" - You are never too big to respect your elders

There are SO MANY more but let us just stop here for now. If you need to hear more, just let me know.

Are you proud of who you are, where you come from? Do you know any proverbs in your language?
Drop it here and let us know that you are a son/daughter of the soil! Say the proverb and tell us what it means.

Ciao!