"I always feel like pouring hot water on ladies who belittle themselves so much to the level where men now tell them to take in first if they want marriage. Their God given senses shpould tell them that the man has no love for you. What that simply means is this; no love without children. This is very wrong and i think it is spreding and becoming acceptable and becoming acceptable even by our elders who should be correcting us".
The above was a quote from a write up i read sometime ago. I have actually heard of men who insist that their fiances get pregnant before they proceed with wedding plans and i ask myself 'what the f***'! How could they do that? That probably means that they want to ascertain the woman's ability to bear children before they walk down the aisle with them. That now brings me to a BIG question - "WHAT EXACTLY IS THE ESSENSE OF MARRIAGE?"
I had this arguement with a guy that wanted to hire me some years ago (believe it or not, i was talking about marriage and the essense of marriage in a job interview!!!) The man - an elderly, respectable looking man - asked me what i thought the aim of marriage was. I told him what i thought - i thought marriage was a legal reason for 2 best friends to live and grow together, a union between people that want to spend their lives together, based on friendship which leads to children. He then asked me 'so you think marriage isnt solely for procreation'? I said NO. IMO, marriage should not be based solely on making kids. The man disagreed vehemently, telling me i was thinking and talking like a child and that when i grow up i will know. I was a grown ass woman then already so i dont know what he was talking about (me being a kid). He said the ONLY reason people marry is to make babies and that if that wasnt in the picture, then there wouldnt be any need to marry. We argued a little bit before his secretary signalled me to just accept his oppinion as this conversation wouldnt end if i dont. I dont know if that was the reason i didnt get the job cos after that, i didnt hear from the man again.
That is a man who is probably a grand father, having that point of view. THAT kind of man will ask his fiance to take in first before the get married.
A friend of mine once told me of one of her friends who had this guy that wanted to marry her. The guy had told her plans would only commence after she is confirmed pregnant. So before the make love, they will both kneel down and pray that the girl concieves!!!!! (pray before you fornicate??? Isnt that like calling the house owner to watch you while you rob his house???)
Maybe, guys just want to make sure the girl is fertile forgetting that they could be infertile as well.
Pregnancy is a beautiful thing. It isnt right for anyone to subject any other to pressure of getting pregnant. It just isnt fair. This is the intended husband. What, then, do u expect the lady to go through at the hands of the intended inlaws (or inlaws after they are married)
It just dosent make sense to me. Does it make sense to you???
My day of the week, yayyyyyy.
Ciao!
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I think its just dumb. Marriage isn't all about making babies because lets face it, we have enough single mothers in the world to prove that your don't NEED to be married to have children. The whole thing makes no sense, but neither is it particularly suprising. I've heard way more of my fair share of men say they'd rather be a father than a spouse. And even more that see a wife as a househelp whom they have unending access to sex from. SMH. *goes to get a cold drink of water*
ReplyDeleteHave a goof weekend hun :)
That man probably isn't happy in his marriage or was forced into it,that's my only explanation for his crazy thinking.
ReplyDeleteMost marriages are usually very beautiful until kids come into the picture how does one then explain that?
Whichever way though its crazy.
My dear, I tire for this thing no be small. I hear and see it happening all around me and I marvel at people. They seem to forget that it's not just about taking in. I have said this before in some other post: There is no guarantee that the pregnancy will be carried full term. Even if the woman gives birth and all, the baby could still die and she might not be able to conceive again. What happens to the marriage then? It's really pathetic when people enter marriage with such concepts. The pressure could be from the man's family to be sure that the family name will be continued. It's terrible.
ReplyDeleteAmaka don't be surprised cos that is what the media has made people to believe. Co-habitation is the order of the day. Hitherto, I thought it was the illiterates who practiced this, but lol! guys in tie and suit do this without an iota of regret and shame. As for me I vowed never to sleep even for a night in my fiance's house till we got married. This, I was proud of on our wedding night. I think cos Christians have failed to change the status-quo of the world, the world is changing the status-quo of Christianity.
ReplyDeleteu ve said it all ooo... and i like d part of nt sleeping even for a night in ur fiance`s house, dats great. will follow in ur footsteps *winks*
DeleteDiscussing this at an interview? I laughed till my ribs hurt, LOLLLLL! That man will be a tough boss ... his secretary has got him figured out anyway, just say yes and shut him up :D.
ReplyDeleteMy dear na so I see this world o. These days na siddon look I dey, hearing all sorts of opinions and arguments to support! And I think they mean it o. Trying to make sense to them will get you wondering if you're the one from outer space.
It is symptomatic of total abdication of moral values and ancestral wisdom for the sake of virtual security.
ReplyDelete